I’ve got dandelions that truly belong in the Wizard of Oz. I have more varieties of crap growing in my yard than the all the scientists have proper Latin names for. I have worn out and replaced the grips on my trimmer a lot more times than the grips on my golf clubs! The worst part of all is it only seems to take a very few of the ugly things sprouting up to make the whole yard look terrible. My yard constantly looks like it hasn’t been mowed when I know, and it knows, it hasn’t been near LONG ENOUGH.
I don’t understand the problem some people seem to have with a yard full of weeds. When I look out across my lawn and gaze at the colors of the sun hitting the dandelions just right, I have a warm feeling of gratitude to a god that could produce such a vision. Then as I happily stroll out to pickup my newspaper, still intoxicated by the sight of so much pretty yellow all smiling at me as if they’re saying “Good morning, Joe” I smile and wave at my neighbor across the street. Until----he smiles back and innocently says, “‘Bout time to give the yard a once over, huh Joe?”
The smile on my face is replaced by a grimace of pressure induced responsibilities. Once again I see the flowers that are growing where they are not supposed too, once more I see a yard full of ugliness where just a few minutes ago was a lawn of wonderful surprising beauty.
Someday I’ll look back on all this yard business and wonder why I let it consume me so. When I’m casually rocking on the veranda of the nursing home, I’ll laugh so hard I’ll probably get choked on my melba toast. Maybe I should kill two birds with one stone and use my golf clubs to hack at the weeds. Then when I have to replace my grips it won’t depress me quite as bad. I’ll be right back.
You can reach Joe Lee at clevelandtidbits@yahoo.com.
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